Calcified Mittens

What's up, Doc?

I've been sick. Furthermore, I have been since May of 2007 because every 6 weeks or so, I seem to get sick again. This has been a major problem for me as I seem like a sickly old grandma to all of my friends who have watched it happen time and again. Finally, after my latest bout, I decided it was time to pay the family doctor a visit.

When I got there I was surprised with how quickly the nurse took me back into my little room. Usually I spend about a half hour in the waiting room reading up on everything from last year's summer edition of "Ducks Unlimited" to "what you can do about your fibromyalgia." Unfortunately, once she shut me up in that little closet I fell into the wasteland known as - the doctor is busy, (aka: he's in the break room and really doesn't want to get up right now but he'll be there in 30 minutes). Long story short, I waited nearly 25 minutes on one of those uncomfortable doctor's bench/bed/i have no idea what they are, things. It was not pleasant. For the entire length of time I had nothing to do but memorize the flyer on mammograms, (EVERY YEAR AFTER 40 LADIES!) and listen to the crinkling noise the paper sheet underneath me made every time my weight shifted in the slightest.

Hark! What noise doth emit from the room with the nurses' desk? I believe it to be none other than the doctor himself!

He came in and was his usual friendly doctor self. I like this guy most of the time. After our exchange on how life was treating us, I proceeded to spill my entire theory of never getting better after that horrendous sickness in May of '07. My speech was epic. Certain rehearsed lines were delivered with considerable gusto. He squinted and made a half-frown. In about 30 seconds he obliterated my story and informed me that I had a chronic allergy problem. Basically, I will have to take Zyrtec every day of my life like a birth control pill.

I don't know if this will fix the problem but in the very least, maybe I will be able to relate better to women who are attempting to avoid pregnancy. I'm not sure how that benefits me, but I'm looking for a sunny side over here.

Sadly, Chamomile is a flower, not a delicious meal expertly camouflaged to protect it from hungry predators.