Monday, December 15, 2008

Peel You Like Balaclava

Judgement Day.

One of my friends had a dream about hell-fire and brimstone. To this I asked, simply, what is brimstone? I have no clue what this damning mineral is that rains down from the pulpits of angry evangelists the world over. We always hear about it, but when we picture it, what do we really picture?

Spurred by this conversation, I found myself turning to none other than Wikipedia for the truth behind the mystery of brimstone.

It's sulfer.

How anti-climactic is that? My imagined brimstone was way cooler than stupid black grainy crap. I imagined something much more like limestone, light in color and more pleasing in texture - unless, of course, you are being pelted incessantly by it for eternity. Just imagine all the colorful fossils that would be flying through the air. A billion year old snail here, a 250 million year old fern there. So much cooler than the stuff we mix in our highway pavement.

Rooty-Tooty Fresh and Fruity would be excellent right now. IHOP it is.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

So. After reading your interesting little blog, I got a bit confused on what your title meant. I had no clue what a balaclava was. I actually thought you meant baklava, like the Greek food. So, I went and looked it up. On Wikipedia I found the link to what a balaclava really is and then a link to lyrics for an interesting song called Balaclava by the Arctic Monkeys. So from brimstone to an interesting song by the Arctic Monkeys, this sure has made its rounds. :)

Melissa said...

You know, Nathan, (pushing my scotch-taped glasses up on the bridge of my nose and breathing heavily through my mouth)Sulfur, as it naturally occurs in nature, is a light yellow in color and is a pleasant smooth, chalky texture. (snort) However...it stinks. Geology 101, REPRESENT!

Melissa said...

PS...baklava would be a lot more fun to peel. It's right up there with Little Debbie's Swiss Cake Rolls.